John's celebration of a passing way of life - the bus conductress known in Fife as the clippie. ‘Clippie’ – Bus Conductress; ‘Pyramids’ – the Pit Bings (Slag Heaps); ‘Happyland’ – Miners’ Rows in Lochgelly, Fife now demolished; ‘Pitch and Toss’ – Game of chance favoured in mining areas where bets are made on the toss of a coin. The tune is an adaptation of the well known Scots song Maggie Cockabendie.
1: I have traivelled ower this country,
 Frae shore tae shining shore;
Frae the swamps o Auchterderran,
Tae the jungles o Lochore.
But in aa these far flung places,
There’s nane that can compare;
Wi the Lily o Lumphinnans,
She’s ma bonnie Maggie Blair.
2: Frae the pyramids up in Kelty,
Tae the mansions in Glencraig ;
We’ve trod the bings together,
In mony’s the blyth stravaig.
Watched the moonlight over Crosshill,
Trod Buckhaven’s golden sand;
And mony’s the happy oor we’ve spent,
In Lochgelly’s Happy Land.
Chorus:
Oh she’s just a Kelty Clippie,
She’ll no tak nae advice;
It’s, “Ach drap deid, awa bile yer heid,
Or Ah’ll punch yer ticket twice!”
Her faither’s just a waster,
Her mither’s on the game;
She’s just a Kelty Clippie,
But I love her just the same.
3: Well I met her on the ‘eight fifteen’,
That nicht o romantic bliss;
Ah says “Hey Mag, pit doon yer bag,
And gie’s a wee bit kiss.”
But she didnae tak that kindly,
No she didnae like ma chaff;
And bein a contrary kind o lass,
She says, “Come oan get aff.”
4: Noo she hasnae got nae culture,
Oh she drives me roond the bend;
Oh she sits every nicht in an old arm chair,
Readin the People’s Friend.
Her lapels is fu o badges,
Frae Butlins doon at Ayr;
And she gangs tae the Bingo every nicht,
Wi the curlers still in her hair.
5: But things is a wee bit better noo,
Ah’ve gone and got the ring;
Ah won it frae John at the pitch and toss,
Last night at the Lindsay bing.
Wi her wee black hat and her ticket machine,
She did ma hert ensnare;
She’s the Lily o Lumphinnans,
She’s ma bonnie Maggie Blair.
Chorus:
Oh she’s just a Kelty Clippie,
She’ll no tak nae advice;
It’s, “Ach drap deid, awa bile yer heid,
Or Ah’ll punch yer ticket twice!”
Her faither’s just a waster,
Her mither’s on the game;
She’s just a Kelty Clippie,
But I love her just the same.
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