1: The New Tay Road Bridge, finest in the country,
 Half a croon tae cross it and it disnae raise a cheer;
It’s a bob tae cross the Mersey, ye can stuff it up yer jersey,
Would they pay it down in London, oh no bloody fear.
Chorus:
Oh Fife’s got everything, just the place for tourists,
See the bonny pit bings staundin in a raw.
2: Fife’s entertainments, finest in the country,
We’re the boys tae come tae if ye want tae get some tips;
There’s fitba at Central Park, neckin burdies in the dark,
Haggis suppers, hot pies, bingo and chips.
3: Fife’s Scotch Whisky, finest in the country,
Distilled frae mountain water at the Coaltown of Markinch;
Man it’s got such power, matured for half an hour,
So don’t be vague and ask for •••• it’s whisky at a pinch.
4: Fife Coast beaches, finest in the country,
If ye like sewage, floatin mond yer toes;
The Costa the East Neuk, it’s enough tae mak ye bloody puke,
If ye want tae go in for a dook, ye hae tae haud yer nose.
5: Noo Fife’s got culture, finest in the country,
Oh when it comes tae arty talk, oh we’re no the mugs;
We’ve got Chink nags on oor waas, a wheen o gonks in oor haas,
Vernon Ward, Tretchikof and white wally dugs.
6: The Rosyth Dockyaird, finest in the country,
If ye want a cushy job just working for the State;
There’s auld folks, blind folks, holiday inclined folks,
And if ye want a submarine, just hurl it oot the gate.
Chorus:
Oh Fife’s got everything, just the place for tourists,
See the bonny pit bings staundin in a raw.
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